Sisters! We're Not Alone

I was so heartened to find many great responses to my latest blog on motherhood, solitude and writing. In addition to the great comments here, I was either led to or found the following writings on the same topic.

Alice in Austria wrote a blog post on Motherhood and Writing, and had this to say:

I don’t know when I first conceived of the notion that I wanted both: to be a mother and a writer. It was never either/or for me. I only realized later, after Isabella was born, that the two are not as easily compatible as I always thought they’d be. Motherhood and writing. It’s like trying to mix oil and water.

Libby over at Midlife Mama linked to a column she wrote called "Independence Day" about the joys of traveling alone:

I am anonymous and irresponsible. For the next five days, I am no one's mother, no one's wife, simply a traveler and a conference attendee. I buy coffee and bottled water and magazines extravagantly; I fail to eat balanced meals; I stay up too late talking and then shower early in the morning to clear my head. I converse only with grown-ups -- there are no discussions of going to the bathroom, or who won't eat their vegetables, or what time someone has to be driven somewhere in the morning. It is heaven.

Even Oprah! has a page on her website that has a grouping of quotes from women writers on balancing motherhood and writing.

Through my wanderings today, I found a blogger named April who has a blog very similar to mine: entitled "Writing and Life" and she says in her post on "Balance":

Another key is to find someone who supports your dream. Find someone who cheers you on as you write and encourages you to keep doing so.

This is absolutely, deeply true. It's especially helpful if it's someone who lives in your own house. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a profoundly supportive spouse who is willing to take up the slack when I go away, who cheers me on when I lose faith in my own ability to write anything, or finish anything. I know there are women out there who are trying to write with partners who not only don't support them, but actively undermine them. I know that personally, my marriage could not survive that. It's that third child thing.

And yes, single mothers without a strong extrafamilial support network have my vote for Heroines of the Universe. Single moms who keep it all together, nurture their kids, feed everyone and still manage to eke out poems and stories and novels, are my personal champions. So people out there, if you know a single mom who is trying to write a book or an article or anything other than a grocery list, give her a little gift of time and offer to take her kid to the zoo or the park for a few hours. The world of literature will be richer for it.