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Susan Ito trying to do it all: reading writing mothering spousing daughtering working living

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Leaving the Sanctuary

I am totally immersed in my work. It is not at all comfortable. This morning I wrote nine new pages. I don’t like this story and I wish I hadn’t lived it. But I did and at this point I feel that the only direction I can go is forward, to release myself at the end of it. I have to keep going.

It’s raining again. Today a group of people returned to the Adirondack Museum and I leaped at the opportunity to go. I needed to get out of my head, out of these words, this story for a little while.

The Museum is a scattering of buildings over a beautiful campus overlooking Blue Mountain Lake. There is an exhibit of Adirondack boys’ and girls’ camps, which I loved, an exhibit of gorgeous rustic furniture, much of it made from birchwood. A stunning display of boats – canoes and kayaks and little lake yachts. I dashed through the rain from building to building.

After walking around I felt overwhelmed and stunned in the gift shop. I haven’t had to buy anything in days. At first I felt like I had to buy gifts for everyone in my family, whether they needed anything or not (they really don’t). So I walked around with my arms full of stuff. Then I retraced my steps and put things back. Did I really need to buy another sweatshirt? I ended up with some postcards, a pen and a pencil (both of which I had forgotten to bring). I got a nice little Adirondack luggage tag for my suitcase. Now I’m huddled back in front of the fire feeling like I’ve just spent a week in the big city: shellshocked. I could live like a hermit for a long time.


Anonymous Wendy Orange said...

Susan, about shopping I've had many thoughts today. I had to buy presents for people in Israel, and not inexpensive, the list of "if you don't mind" which I didn't. But then, on a Sunday afternoon, I saw so many shopping and when I talked to a woman behind the counter, she couldn't afford anything. Nor could the cab driver I met, who couldn't afford is prescription meds. I thought then: God, do not let me shop for ANYTHING i don't absolutely need. So, I relate.

Did you get my slight revision of your pages today? All love, wendy

Sunday, October 16, 2005 8:02:00 PM

Blogger expatmama said...

Oh, Susan, I am revelling in your Adirondack leaves photos (and I love the Adirondack Museum! I must take the kids there one day.) Also, the luxury of time to work, and companions, and natural beauty... Keep updating so I can vicariously experience this lovely retreat (though of course first and foremost is what you're there to work on!) Enjoy.

Monday, October 17, 2005 12:33:00 AM

Blogger Libby said...

Susan, I love those chairs! And I'm so impressed by the writing you're getting done. Keep it up! (And keep posting...)

Monday, October 17, 2005 7:48:00 PM


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