Finding Something to Love

This has been a good weekend for our girls. Both of them, it seems, have found things that they love, and I mean REALLY love to do. This after many years of poking around, experimenting, casting about, trying this and that.

The older girl, starting at around age three, has participated in gymnastics, art, violin, Japanese taiko drumming, ice skating, acting, hip-hop dance, swimming, water polo. If you asked her how she liked one or the other thing, she'd say, "Okay," or "Pretty good." But after a semester or a year or a ten-week class, she wouldn't be anxious to continue, to move to the next level. She saw her friends getting intensely involved in their sports or their art, and it made her feel sad that she hadn't really found her thing, her thing to be obsessed with, the thing that made her feel super alive.

Well, she's found it. By pure chance she stumbled upon a crew team that has engaged her and involved her like nothing else ever has. She is obsessed with crew. She's found a place on the coveted "A" boat, she works out brutally hard six days a week, she's made new friends and come to love the beauty and power of eight girls doing exactly the same thing at the same time, over and over again. She doesn't mind getting up at the crack of dawn, or rowing in the sleety rain. She loves absolutely everything about it, and it is a joy to see. I don't know how long it will last. But in the months since she's been rowing, she's never once said it was "Okay" or "pretty good." She LOVES crew, and I am so happy for her.

The little one, now 11, has been similarly "eh" about the things we've tried for her: a very brief stint of kiddie gymnastics, then ballet, then ice skating, art, soccer and guitar. She did them all willingly, SORT of, but they weren't things she particularly looked forward to. Then came this Young Actors' Workshop, and to our total astonishment (she can be extremely shy about doing anything in front of other people) she said she wanted to sign up. Maybe because some of her friends were doing it. But she has gone to 15+ hours of rehearsal every week, and loved every minute. Her role in "Pride & Prejudice" is a small one, but she threw herself into it. We got to watch her perform last night and it was truly something to behold. Our shy girl! And not only that, but she declared Opening Night the "best night of my life."

I didn't find my Thing until I was twenty nine years old and took my first writing class. I knew I liked to write, and I loved to read, but I never felt brave enough to say "I want to do this," until I was pregnant for the first time. I took a writing class for pregnant mothers and those first exploratory writing exercises totally hooked me. Then I started taking more classes, and more, until I realized I wanted to get my MFA and really take that leap, to say I am a writer.

Our girls may not end up being an Olympic rower or a Broadway actor, but I am glad that they have found a taste of what it feels like to really, really love something, something to sacrifice for and dream about and truly engage with. I'm glad for them both.